Friday, April 29, 2011

Building Sweet Relationships in the Home

"Sibling Rivalry"  Although very common to hear, should it be considered as 'normal' in the christian home?  Does it bring God glory when we allow our children to fight and bicker amongst themselves?  These are questions that we are asking ourselves as we are facing this issue head on.

Brothers and sisters have their part in making the home happiness.  Yet not always do they live together so as to make the music of the home one glad, sweet song.
J. R. Miller
I know sometimes the music that flows from our home sounds like we need some tuning up. 

The possibilities of happiness and blessing among brothers and sisters can be realized only by cultivating the love that seeketh not its own, that is not provoked, that beareth all things, endureth all things, and never faileth (1Corinthians 13:4-8).  Love's first lesson is that of giving up one's own way, denying one's self, suffering in silence.  
J.R. Miller

What is our standard?  It is the way the world views sibling relationships or is it God's view?  

"Do all things without complaining or arguing." Philippians 2:14

"It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel." Proverbs 20:3

"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."  Proverbs 29:11

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."  Philippians 2:3

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  John 13:35

I'm sure I could go on and on.  I don't believe that brother and sister relationships are omitted from these commands.   Our desire is for our children to share a sweet and tender relationship.  That God will use this time in their little lives to help strip away the selfishness that they are born with.   That they will learn to love unselfishly and serve others wholeheartedly.   It all begins in the home.

We feel this is a worthy goal in our home.  God has been so good to allow us to see some fruit of our labor.  Our children are normal children who run into conflicts with each other.  But it is our job to show them how to handle these conflicts and how to conquer the old man and live as a new creature.

"Will this take a weekend of our full undivided attention and then whoa la,  our children will never argue again?"  One could only wish it to be so.  This, like all things, is a process that will take many years for them to fully grasp.

Part of my job as a mother is working daily, or even moment by moment, to show them God's standard for their lives and how to resist their sinful nature.

"It's a choice we make, we can except the status quo, or we can role up our sleeves and commit to daily toil amid this "garden" of home life, trusting the Lord for a fruitful harvest in His time."
Kelly Crawford

Quarrels don't always present themselves extremely noticeable.   We are being watchful of dirty looks, tone of voices and gestures. We must always point to the standard.

We are asking questions like; "Was that kind?", "Is that how you would want him to treat you?", "Are you putting others before yourself?", "Is that honoring to the Lord?"

When I remember, we have the children re-do or re-act the scenario.   Helping them choose kinder words, tones and actions.   Sometimes when a child chooses to dis-honor a sibling, then he/she must choose a special way to honor him/her.  Praying together is the key.  For it is only through His strength that we are able to live accordingly.

Lastly, may we never cease to PRAISE!!!  This is something I must make a conscience effort to do, for it doesn't come natural to me to praise.  When they choose to show love and honor their sibling, praise, praise, praise.

"A full and complete family is one in which there are both brothers and sisters, and where all dwell together in tender love."
J.R. Miller



Homestead Living said...

I just wanted to thank you for your visit the other day and for reminding me of this very important issue. I'm so grateful for your heart that beats so close to my own.
Love you friend,

Janelle said...

Such a good reminder Jennie! There are so many thing to teach...

Angela said...

Great reminder, we were just having this very issue today talking about how we speak to one another and how we won't to honor Christ with our words.


Lisa said...

A beautiful reminder, Jennie! Thanks! You have a beautiful blog. I am your newest follower and would love for you to stop by and "visit" me sometime. :)